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Life Talk!

how to think of sex ?

kiki

kiki

China

i broke up with my boyfriend ,because  the sex. i love him .and so do him .but i can't accept we have a sex.

he said he want me be his women .if you are not sex with me ,you don't love me ?

i don't know how to face .so i said .broke up .

in fact i still love him .but i can't have sex.i hope when we marriy .we could but he don't think so .

still miss him .but …to me ,sex is so seriously .

06:16 AM May 22 2008 |

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aljensen

aljensen

United States

That seems like a pretty common situation for teenagers.

Another way to think of it is not about sex, but about people's needs. He needed something that you weren't able to provide (sex). So he left to find what he needed. Likewise, you needed something he couldn't provide (seriousness) so you will find someone who can provide that. People gravitate towards what they need, even in other people. It seems callous, but it is true, I think. 

 Part of the thing is we create idealized images of other people – especially the people we love. We hope to correct their faults, and in our minds we already have. We fall in love with this image of this person we have created, but it is not the actual person, so much as what we wish and hope them to be. This discrepancy between our ideals and reality causes a lot of pain. 

For now, the issue is sex. When you get older, it will become other issues. You want to move in, but he doesn't want you to. He wants to get married, but you aren't ready. You want to have children, but he thinks that it is impossible. Sometimes you compromise, and things work out. Sometimes you have enough of compromises, and move on. There is no final solution to life.

Just my 2 cents. 

06:27 AM May 22 2008 |

kiki

kiki

China

thanks a lot ,

i got you .

06:44 AM May 22 2008 |

Erorr

Erorr

United Arab Emirates

I think he loved you just for sex.

keep breaking up with him. Someday you will get a perfect guy and you will get a beatiful life with him. I am SURE.Wink

07:29 AM May 23 2008 |

kiki

kiki

China

thanks all … i'm so happy you told me the advices

12:14 PM May 23 2008 |

kiki

kiki

China

to a man .virginity  really important ?or if a man love a women ,he really want have a sex ?

01:02 PM May 23 2008 |

aljensen

aljensen

United States

Men want a lot of things. The question is, what do you want?

I think in the end you will find you have to lie to men quite a lot. As a general principle, ipeople do not want the truth, they want pretty fantasies that make them feel good about themselves. 

Speaking just for myself, I would not date a girl who would not sleep with me. I might be her friend, I might hang out with her. But I wouldn't try and have a romantic relationship with her.

 But I'm not 18 years old. When I was 18 I would have waited.

Sex and love don't always go together. Some of the best sex that I've had were with girls that I didn't even particularly like. I've also loved a girl with whom our sex life just did not work out. 

In five years it won't even be an issue. You will be too worried about earning money and paying the bills! @.@  

04:52 PM May 23 2008 |

Sawdestination

Mexico

You do the right thing Kiki.

Every person is so different, but if you weren´t confortable about the idea of have sex with your now ex-boyfriend it means it wasn´t the right time for you. Your intuition will tell you when you will be ready to take this step and with who.

And with your question about virginity, in some cultures is important, but since my very particular point of view it doesn´t matter because a woman is more than a hymen.

If a woman lose her virginity it doesn´t mean she has less value than the others.

05:45 PM May 23 2008 |

Erorr

Erorr

United Arab Emirates

yes yes ….

GO ON Wink

run sing play dance have fun eat drink do everything .. don't think about him. I am SURE you can do it. Laughing

06:00 PM May 23 2008 |

kiki

kiki

China

ya .maybe ,i think i will find a nice guy in the future .i try my best to forget him . thanks Erorr .. 

03:47 AM May 24 2008 |

m00rthy_2007@zapak.com

India

hi

i think it is a common in once life…..generally most of boys feel the same what u r bf expected from u….. it is something that gets u both close and relationship strong…... well it my advise…only…. good luck 

 

10:17 AM Feb 13 2009 |