Ambers Blog

United States

Here I am again...

May 21, 2008

In the middle of depression.

I am not going to say that I have the worst life in the world, but I do know I have it bad. My stepfather is an alchoholic, and my mother is starting to go intothat beating me up, or, well...trying to beat me up "stage". My oldest brother abuses me, and some of my firneds are talking about me in many bad ways nehind my back for no apparant reason at all.

Something happened that also is not so good.

Last year, my firned Henry decided to shoot himself in the head and kill himself. This past summer, his mother slit her wrists, and bled to death, and then his father decided that his life was worth nothing and then decided to go the same way Henry did, by shooting himself, only he did not shoot himself in the head, he shot himself in the heart, and it took him 3 long hours to go into peace..

Also...during the past summer..my friend chad hung himself in his mothers bedroom when she was at work, and she felt that it was her fault, so she went and did the same thing to herself (hung herself).

NOw... does it sound like I should be happy?

NO....it doesnt, but ya know what?

Ill get through this, all I have to do is just keep looking toward the future, right?

10 Comments
Comment on this

12:00 AM Aug 17 2009
SENHY China	I'm sorry heared that,I share your pain.But don't be depressed, I believe God is fair, everythings will be all right. I'm here if you need me.

12:00 AM Aug 17 2009

SENHY
China

I'm sorry heared that,I share your pain.But don't be depressed, I believe God is fair, everythings will be all right. I'm here if you need me.

12:24 AM Jul 23 2009
owen-jay China	right,you must believe one day will be nice!!!!!!!!!

12:24 AM Jul 23 2009

owen-jay
China

right,you must believe one day will be nice!!!!!!!!!

09:31 PM Apr 21 2009
Scrambled Eggs China	I'm not going to say "I know how you feel" cuz I don't.But I do feel sorry for those friends of you. To be honest,the first reason that drives me here is your smile,so lovely. Just take care. and good luck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxI4_zV1HDI "lay your hands" by simon webbe,maybe you have already heard of it.

09:31 PM Apr 21 2009

Scrambled Eggs
China

I'm not going to say "I know how you feel" cuz I don't.But I do feel sorry for those friends of you. To be honest,the first reason that drives me here is your smile,so lovely.

Just take care. and good luck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxI4_zV1HDI

"lay your hands" by simon webbe,maybe you have already heard of it.

05:18 PM Apr 09 2009
Marlon Ferreira Brazil	Dont Worry.. Everything is gonna be fine before the dawn.

05:18 PM Apr 09 2009

Marlon Ferreira
Brazil

Dont Worry.. Everything is gonna be fine before the dawn.

07:01 PM Apr 08 2009
allenteen China	Steady heart survived the storm

07:01 PM Apr 08 2009

allenteen
China

Steady heart survived the storm

04:22 AM Jan 22 2009
Aaron_In_Korea United States	I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes when shit goes down hill people think its the only way out. I was close to it once too. My brother shot himself in the head when I was 12 and it took everything in me to not follow in his footsteps. At that point life is pointless and meaningless, at least that's how it seems. Honestly if you hang in there in the long run you'll be happy you did, though it may not seem to make sense now...People die and it sucks but you gotta accept it, I'm not going to tell you to accept it right away, just dont hurt yourself because of the pain. If you need someone to talk to, I will be there for you. Aaron

04:22 AM Jan 22 2009

Aaron_In_Korea
United States

I'm sorry to hear that. Sometimes when shit goes down hill people think its the only way out. I was close to it once too. My brother shot himself in the head when I was 12 and it took everything in me to not follow in his footsteps. At that point life is pointless and meaningless, at least that's how it seems.

Honestly if you hang in there in the long run you'll be happy you did, though it may not seem to make sense now...People die and it sucks but you gotta accept it, I'm not going to tell you to accept it right away, just dont hurt yourself because of the pain.

If you need someone to talk to, I will be there for you.

Aaron

11:28 PM Sep 05 2008
michael go China	hi, just come on, the chinese had old saying, pain past is pleasure,don't care about what you are suffer today, maybe tomorrow, it will be changed. no matter what happen now, if you have next seconds, you have hope, you have hope ,you have future!

11:28 PM Sep 05 2008

michael go
China

hi, just come on, the chinese had old saying, pain past is pleasure,don't care about what you are suffer today, maybe tomorrow, it will be changed.

no matter what happen now, if you have next seconds, you have hope, you have hope ,you have future!

08:16 PM Jun 16 2008
zhu chu yong China	May the god is unfaie to you .but the fate is charged by you .so you should strong to face it .and hoping we can share our happness and sorrow in here .the most important is you should add me. May you happy everyday.

10:25 PM May 25 2008
ButterFli United States	Aww, try to be the strong one through all of this. Those people couldn't take it. Be strong!

10:25 PM May 25 2008

ButterFli
United States

Aww, try to be the strong one through all of this. Those people couldn't take it. Be strong!

12:43 PM May 24 2008
ledo111 Egypt	completely right ,dear no one of us chose or could choose people around him if u need some friend to talk wz i will be here ....just contact me....i wish u happy life:)

12:43 PM May 24 2008

ledo111
Egypt

completely right ,dear

no one of us chose or could choose people around him

if u need some friend to talk wz i will be here ....just contact me....i wish u happy life:)

Nothing better to do.

May 4, 2008

So....

Here I am..

Amber, age 17 (my profile says 16)

Asian.

My friend Nick is absolutely amazing, he has black/brown emo boy style hair, has beautiful, deep brown eyes, and his laugh is perfect. Sadly, he has a girlfriend, and depressingly, I am not that girl who is lucky enough to have him.♥

But anyway, everytime I get online, I shall produce a blog.

Just for everyone's amusement.

Right now, I am slightly pissed off, and yet very bored, sad, and happy, if that makes any logical way into your mind.

About me:

I was born in Tokyo, Japan.

My mother was born to be a geisha, but she ran away to Osaka at the age of 15, maybe 16. She met my father there, who is a cold hearted, full fledged american. They had "fun time", and I was born in Tokyo, 5 years after they met, which was 6 years after she ran away from home. She was back in Tokyo to collect money from my grandmother.

I, however, never met my grandmama until I was 3...

anyway, I am rambling on, so I will end this blog for now.

B4 I scare people away.